I went to Italy!
Published:21/7/23

Hello lovely people out there ~~ (o´∀`o) Today I went on a trip to Italy, and will be staying here for a couple of days and explore pretty places! I've been so excited about it and i'm finally here ~
Italy is my favourite country, it's so beautiful, the architecture is so pretty and it has a lot of nice places to visit. I've always wanted move here, ever since I visitted my cousins that live here 5 years ago. (人´∀｀)．☆

Tomorrow is my birthday actually! I'm a cancer baby~~ I'm grateful to be spending my birthday here -- will actually be visitting the Colosseum tomorrow. I really wanna walk more these few days to be healthier. The heat might be a problem for me but no biggie.

Other than that, today when we came home we got an uber to the apartment we rented and it is gorgeous up here. We then went to the city and to a little restaurant , a more casual one , and I got the yummiest tiramisu~~ ヾ(‘∀｀=ヽ) - Everything here is very beautiful. Even the small things mean a lot. I'm happy to be here and can't wait to visit more stuff~~

I went to my first escape room!
Published:9/7/23

I recently had my very first escape room experience, and oh my gosh, i was like a mix of nervousness and excitement, all tangled up like a ribbon in my heart !! just picture me standing outside that mysterious door, a bubbling blend of nervousness and excitement swirling around inside me like confetti. I've never been to one before, I was going to experience this for the first time..can I just say, doubt came in and made my palms all sweaty and my heart race like a thousand miles per hour... eek (*´д｀*)

I was listening to music on the way there.. blasting my favourite lana del rey songs in my ears, while my hears was doing cartwheels of nervousness and excitement. my eyes were locked on the gps on the phone, telling you how many mins till you'd get there. this experience probably wouldn't be anything too crazy for others— however for me? yikes!!!(*ﾟдﾟ) ; i obviously didn't go alone, the people i went with were also just experiencing this for the first time (except one of them, the rest, including myself, were going in clueless) , and they weren't half as nervous for that experience as i was...(〃´o｀)

anyways, we get there, and next thing I know were standing in this creepy ambiental room, legs and arms on the floor, blood on the walls.. — I must mention, it was slaughter house themed, with its inspiration for the room being the saw franchise. I've been a huge fan of saw movies ever since i was little.. yes, my dad would put on those movies when i was a kid and i'd be sure to keep watch too ～～ , and now as a teenager, i'm still as obsessed with the franchise. but this was what made me more creeped out at first. since saw really is creepy gaahhh!

so, i used my big brain to solve the puzzles.. i did my best hehe, i think i contributed very well! i think i work nicely under pressure ～ , the puzzles weren't that complicated actually, you just had to think a bit. we had 60 minutes to complete it, and we all looked around for clues desperately! the last puzzle was a little harder, as it required us to weight some mannequins (supposed victims of this killer slaughter house thing) and do some math to get the code, but we did it! It was a whirlwind of giggles, high-fives, and " yess we did it!" moments!(o-´ω｀-)
It's the first escape room i've been to, and we finished everything in time ! this was a very sweet and fun activity, which is something i'd like to experience again in the future! i'd love to go to other escape rooms aswell.

a nice day
Published:7/5/23

today i woke up feeling way better from my sickness. i've been feeling like shit and very sick, and today was the first day i felt alive in a while after being stuck inside with sore throats nd an icky feeling in my body!! well, im still not well, besides i have a lot of things i need to get checked like my heart since my pulse has been very high recently which isnt good. it might be the fevers apparently, but i ve been getting palpitations randomly throughout the day so thats not okay. ill just be minding my own bussiness and i suddently feel my heart beating rapidly and suddently it feels like im trying to catch my breath after running, except i didnt run?? if that makes sense, it does to me, but i like to think theres nothing wrong with me right now since i hate doctors and allat. honestly, thinking about the doctors, the worry, the treatment makes me panic more and it gives me a blast of anxiety in my entire body.

but honestly i dont wanna talk about that. like i said it makes me even more scared, so i'd like to change the topic! today i went out, my goal was actually to study with my sister to a nice cafe in a park. i desperately needed a gasp of fresh air after being in my contaminated room air. so that's what i did, and gosh it was a lot of walking that im not used to, but it was fun. we ended up not studying, the lounge we sat at was a bit more fancy than casual and we decided to just enjoy our time there, then we took long walks around the lake and really took our time to admire nature, the birds chirping, the shining sun reflecting on the lake, people laughing with their families and taking photographs that will be kept as memories for the years that await us, really gave me a feeling of nostalgia, sort of. but it was a boost of immediate serotonin! everyone was just so happy, and it made me feel alive for the first time all again~! me and my sister also shared some personal things, and we talked about life and living and the troubles of teenagehood. it was nice and it taught me a lot of things, it taught me to look at the future with a brigher connotation, rather than an anxious one. she told me that it gets better with the insecurities and meeting people and it gave me a feeling of comfort.
those are the kind of discussions i always look forward to, discussions that are effective and comforting. its great to have funny laughing breakdowns with people, but it feels better when you have talks about "inconvenient" things to see their view about things, without these talks i dont even feel comfortable enough to laugh with them. those discussions make me so much more comfortable with someone because its like when i see them laughing after, i get comfort from it. i might just be rambling but idk. i just wanna talk about embarassing experiences and things like that, it reminds me that im not the only one who goes through it. but then again maybe i just need to pick up on a teenage coming of age series that talks about these issues, and maybe ill feel better after.

new post???from ME??
Published:3/12/22

hihi... It's been a while hasn't it! I've talked about it earlier on, about how I wanted to take a break. That was a longer time ago, but I felt like i couldn't allow myself to leave my web pages unfinished, and I felt like i needed to stay just so i could finish it and atleast feel completed!

well I did, i am fully satisfied with everything my website has to offer and there aren't any new pages that i want to create, so i figured it would be a nice thing to take a break to focus on my own mentality and on myself and i feel refreshed so far!

but unfortunately i feel like staying in this pause for a little longer. i feel like i'm doing more things for myself and taking care of myself more, not that it's an issue when i update or something, i definitely still had time but i didn't just cut off neocities , but also just took a break from staying in front of this big pc screen for hours and hours at a time.

Well since it's my first post in a month i also think it'd be cool to post about some new things in my life.

Recently i've been trying this new skin care product and it's been doing wonderss!! ever since i've been using it it feels like my skin, which is insanely dry because of how sensitive it is to wind and heat, has completely renewed. after using it, my skin feels completely changed and its not ever worked like this before. it feels smooth and my dead skin is completely gone. it's a sugar scrub, that's one of the best things about it, is that it gets rid of your dead skin, so whenever i use concelear or foundation, it will look perfect!!

i'm super happy with it! another thing is today i went shopping and i bought a nice pajama set. it's silky and it's black and absolutely perfect. i have an ongoing obsession with femininity and sweetness, so for me super cute pj sets,skincare and things like that are a must! ୨୧ - a bonus too, i was thinking about purchasing a set from victoria's secret, but before i could i found this better, cheaper version of them at the mall and i'm very much in love.

yeah, that's sorta it. i am going back into hibernation mode now so cya! ~( so , i've been doing very well ! :) )

random thoughts !! ♪☆
Published:27/10/22

alright so.. i know this is sorta random but i have to rant [?] about how much i enjoy being a woman!!

there is genuinely nothing i love more than going shopping for cosmetics and clothing, trying out new makeup techniques, doing my nails in a cute manner, caring for my hair,lips and skin, going to cafes and studying.(´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

I feel like femininity is always demonized in the media and through pop culture. but to be completely honest, femininity makes me feel more confident! it makes me find out more ways to learn about my body and how to work with my features, and overall being happy in my body. unfortunately, in the media being feminine is always seen as "being mean" or "being a tryhard" when it's really just embracing your qualities as a woman and loving yourself, that's what it is for me.

And for me, being feminine doesn't necessarily mean being overly girly or obsessed with pink. You can be feminine without being those things which I really like. i got my nails done today and i'm deeply in love with them! i got sort of a pastel nude pink and on the ring finger i have the outline of a star with a cute jewel inside it. And they're also the perfect lenght for me! They're not extremely long and not too short either! I'm obsessed with the color and i feel like they make my hand look so different ahh!（　＾ω＾）♪☆ tbh it makes me hand look more slender looking, i don't know how to explain it but my hand looks longer now.

it might just be my imagination and how i'm not really used to this lenght in my nails, but as i used to be really insecure about my hands and fingers i feel like that insecurity isn't exsistent now because i've been obsessed with checking my hand today!!

i usually take care of my nails too, file them, and take care of them because i've tried my best to grow them but when they did grow, some of them were shorter or looked wonky and i've always just wanted natural, simple and longer nails but whenever i got there i'd look at my nails and they looked weird! that's why i was insecure to be honest. though the nail lady told me i had a beatiful shape which boosted my confidence a lot more! anyways, so i've grown my nails and for some reason my thumb's nail is always extremely short and zig zag, or my nails look better on my right hand and on the left hand my nails are shorter or something.

So when that happened or i unintentionally bite my nail/s from being anxious i just start over and i never really got anywhere. But my dream is honestly to have long,symmetrical and healthy nails that i can paint and work with whenever i want! ο(=•ω＜=)ρ⌒☆

Today i also talked to my friend and we talked about going to the mall for a drink, and i suggested we go study aswell as we can now take our laptops to school . so after school we meet up and get there, and we don't have to make any stops at home or anything to get our stuff" ( tho im going to anyways so i can get my supplementary notes that i take at home, or my annotating stuff and the notebooks i need. i don't wanna go to school with even more books that i need for that day because my backpack is already huge and heavy. i also wanna take a shower and get changed because when i arrive home im sorta sweaty ) anyways, obviously she agreed so im excited to do this together! ~(>_-。)＼ anyways that's all i had to say lmfao. it's nice to talk about my day and it's helped me get out of my comfort zone. *:.｡.ヾ(●´∀` [☆ｵﾔｽﾐ☆].｡.:*

U｡･x･)ﾉ岡山白桃カステラ Food Blog!
Published:3/10/23

2 days ago i went to a store that had all kinds of snacks from asia! they have a lot of really good snacks and also food, so i check it out from time to time. while looking around, something caught my attention! i wasn't sure what exactly it was, but from the package alone it looked to be super delicious. it had lovely tender cakes on the package, along with some white peaches next to it. it looked really good!(*´人｀*) !! i took it from the shelf and i held it and i could feel the cake inside of it. i could feel it was very soft and squishy which made me really wnt it! i love softer snacks, especially when it's little cakes! so i bought it and got to try it out. it was 4$!

when i got back home i was eager to try it, so i went ahead and opened it up! it smelled really sweet and peachy, and i was so excited. when i took it out, i could immediately feel the texture. it was soft to the touch, but not as fragile as i thought which was really nice. i was a little afraid it would be super fragile and would crumble, but it didnt which relieved me! tho it was a little squishy which i also liked!

in the package there were 3 of them, to be honest the price kind of annoyed me because 4$ for a small snack is A LOT in my country, considering i could even get a big boba tea for less than that /srs, not sure if it's reasonable for other ppl though, to me it was ridiciously expensive, considering the cakes were also super small and you could finish it in 2 bites tbh!

so, i muched one it and oh my gosh. this made me forget the annoyance about the price altogether!! it was super tasty! it wasn't extremely sweet, it had the right amount of sweetness to it. it was mushy and amazing. i could eat this forver oh my gosh. im really happy i got to try this out, because i'm definitely gonna buy this again! it had the perfect texture to it.

feeling ill
Published:12/9/22

today i woke up with a sore throat. worst way to start of a boring school monday. I can barely swallow without feeling pain and its so irritating!! I went to school feeling not too good, I got there and I was fine. Still had a sore throat, but when I think the sickness kicked in more is when I came back from school. I had a free,last class where I just sat on a bench outside and on my phone. I was with my friends but not really in the mood for anything, though i felt even worse looking at everyone being fine and going about their day. I was feeling like shit at school. Anyways, class is over and we get to go home. It started to kick in while I was waiting for the bus in the bus station, I was sitting there, my throat still hurt, and then I started to feel it in my legs. That weakness you feel around your ankles when you're sick, or maybe just in my case but I feel very weak in my ankles, which only usually happens when I'm sick! I'm like, i've definitely caught the flu or something. The bus app I had wasn't working, how convenient, and I was already in a shitty mood but oh god, that only made me even madder.

I waited around 10 minutes before it started to work again, and it said my bus is coming in 5 minutes. by that point i'm relieved and impatiently waiting for it, just for the worst thing that could happen. it's fucking bugged or some shit. I check it again after 10 minutes of waiting, maybe there's traffic! but no! it's coming in a fucking hour!!!! and i was so upset but atleast another bus was coming in around 10 minutes.

I started getting sicker and sicker.
When I thought the worst couldn't happen, it did. The bus stopped. It was pretty full but I could stick myself through people, when someone I very much despise was right next to me, i avoided eye contact at all costs, and if the busses came faster i wouldn't have even gone in in the first place, i would've waited for the next one. but no. here, our busses are very crowded and come very frequently, so i had no choice. i stood there next to him in silence trying to somehow balance and keep myself standing if the bus took and unexpected turn and i fell over him or over someone else, that would've been the last straw and i would've probably cried from anger. its the most embarassing thing. I could barely hold onto anything.

Fortunately my house isn't too far away from that bus station, it takes 5 minutes by car but a lot longer just walking. With the traffing and everything i stood there, with sore ankles and throat, barely holding onto the railing, next to someone i hate with a burning passion, and somehow got through it. I never got off so fast, but *expectedly* and sadly he gets off at the same stop. I noticed that he was walking very fast and I tried to walk really slow trying not to catch up..

Then I went to a store, where I started feeling even sicker. I felt really weak, everywhere, my entire body was in pain, I could barely walk home. I trust the store keeper, I crashed there and after like 10 minutes of trying to get myself to feel better, I decided to leave. I got home, threw myself on my bed and didn't get up for hours. my eyes were starting to burn a lot and i was tearing up occasionally. then i just tried watching a show but i barely even could, my eyes were burning, the flashing screen wasnt helping and i was only focusing on the pain and how i was gonna go to school the next day; i turned it off and spent a lot of time on my phone, i started burning up too. ugh. i was shivering and very cold, and i had a lot of craving. i ate pudding,some chocolate i found in the fridge, pistachio and i even called my mom to get some food on the way home. i took some pills and i'm feeling a little better, but still, i hate when i get sick. and my throat still hurts and its inavoidable.

week one of school is over..
published : 9/11/22

Yesterday me and 2 friends went to the mall, originally we were supposed to go to the cinema but we decided not to go today and to go next weekend.

We went to a cafe and it was super cozy in there! They had super nice decorations and it really got me in the mood for fall. It was also really ambiental and the lightning was really soft and calming. The three of us got the same thing , an iced passionfruit lemonade! It was really good, we laughed and had a nice time!! We also got literally the best table there and we talked about many things.It was pretty fun!!

Then we decided to go shopping, we weren't really planning on buying anything, we just wanted to look around. We also checked out an library and my friend bought a book from there. And then we decided to go eat as we were pretty hungry. Then after a few more hours we saw a boba shop and we also wanted to check it out! I got mango milk , it was pretty good but I hate how the pearls tasted. They literally felt like soggy cereal, and I don't know what I was expecting. And we already had all that lemonade beforehand and we we're pretty full so we didn't drink it entirely.

My friends got caramel milk tea and I got to try it but it was barely even caramel.. It was pretty bad. My friend even felt sick after drinking some of hers and so we just decided to throw them out. Waste of 4$!!

Well, after that me and my best friend had planned on a sleepover with a movie marathon next weeked! We have the list of movies and everything, and my step dad is driving us to the mall the next day, where we'll go watch a movie at the cinema.We were thinking to go to orphan first kill, or something horror, but my friend isn't really fond of horror so we just picked something else!

Anyways, for the movie marathon we both just picked comfort movies, most of them are from the 2000s. Some of the movies we picked were: 500 days of summer, Perks of being a wallflower, Mean girls, American Psycho, The black swan!

I'm super excited for it. I know teenagers don't really have sleepover ig, it's all that childish, but theyre so fun so who cares?? Plus my spet dad is also driving us that friday to a grocery store so we can get a bunch of snacks to binge on!

Ok but, since this post was supposed to be about school, let's take a moment to talk about it!! Our schedule for next week was changed and I hate it so bad. We have 7 hours almost daily. I don't live near the school so it takes me long to get home. I had 7 hours last week too, and I got home by 6pm.Our classes end at 3pm. It takes me so long because I have to wait an hour for my bus to arrive and sometimes I miss it becuase its incredibly full... And I was super tired and barely got to finish any of the work i had to do! I was in such a bad mood that day and I can't believe i'll relive this 4 times a week -___-''

how i feel about school starting
published:8/30/22

school is starting is less than a week, and i'm seriously nervous. i get this overwhelming anxiety everytime i think about it. "How should I dress?",How do I make my hair? Should I do a regular ponytail with a claw-clip or do I just straighten it? Or a blowout?!?, Oh i should wake up so early!! so i can take a long shower and make sure i smell like strawberries and flowers..

Then I get a little lightheaded because, what hour should I even wake up? and what if I collapse from the incredible heat? I mean, it's as hot as an oven in romania over here. And I seriously can't stand it. If It's way too hot outside i'll even risk having my expensive mascara drip, from the sweat, that also *sometimes* happens to get in my hair... and when that happens, my hair also gets wavy again! turning that one hour i spent straightening it, usesless! what if I sweat excessively, and you can smell it... seriously, so many problems. also, having new classmates makes me scared. because i lowkey feel like i'm way too laid back than the rest of the teenagers my age !!

but I mean.. what can I do anyways? i'll just get there and stay on my phone. maybe i'll try introducing myself to someone! I just hope i get a nice seat in the back so that the teachers can't see me and I can spend my time on the phone LMFAO.

Although at the same time, I feel excited because my friend will be there with me too. I won't suffer alone and i'm sure i'll get through this year... alive, atleast. we've already made so much plans, both of us are really looking forward to studying and making sure we high our grades... , i mean, i got an D- in math last year. Hopefully that doesn't hapeen again. And so, if we're going to study more we're also to go to cafes after school to study together. so that will be more interesting., I don't like studying alone and stuff.. i get distracted on my phone. but if i'm with someone else then we'll both try to keep eachother concentrated and also we'll talk about what we need to get done, if one of us doesn't understand, the other can explain it, and the sound of that relieves me a little.

We both have been planning our seatings this entire summer basically!! she's gonna sit in front of me, and i'll sit at the 3rd desk. I like staying in the back and she likes in the front, so I guess this is okay. if anyone takes our seats i'm actually gonna fight their ass.

Well, with school starting also comes AUTUMN! and you know me I love autumn. I can finally wear whatever I want, sweaters with shorts or hoodies, and that's comforting. I also just like it because it's not going to be way too hot outside, atleast during night time.

Also, my best friend *one mentioned in the other paragraph* and i kinda do everything together! while we may not celebrate halloween in romania, me and my friend have already made plans for october. We're going to go to ***** and get lots of halloween decorations, and snacks. then she'll spend the night at mines, a sleepover basically. and we're gonna have a movie marathon, not necessarily scary, i wish, but just movies we both really enjoy and just rewatching them. Or movies that get you in the scary-autumn mood. Such as corpse bride, coraline, scream, chucky, the addams family, IT there are some of the few i can name from the top of my head. anyways, it's gonna be really exciting. unfortunately we won't do it on the 31th october, and we'll have to do it on the 28th. boring. well, mainly because it's friday, we can fnish our homework, spend all night watching movies and doing normal sleepover stuff, then we will wake up on saturday and have breakfast and stuff.. then she'll go home, and then we have the sunday, a free day, for ourselves and for whatever stuff we wanna do,have a relaxing night, then monday, we'll go to school, and have had a nice weekend. seems like a solid plan to me.

I'll make another blog post tommorrow. I'm going shopping for clothes and accesories and stuff, then I'll maybe post about it!